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“What have you been up to lately?” I’ve been getting this question a lot. So I thought the blog might be a good space to answer that, and share some fresh vision for the journey ahead. First, I’m going to tell you a little story. A story about the time that I asked God for a “calm year.” And he laughed…and laughed…and laughed. Seriously though. 2017 was a year of big change for me. I put in my resignation at my steady job of a dozen years, stepping out on nothing other than a knowing that God was moving me forward into something new. I spent three uncertain months waiting for God to reveal the next step, as I counted down the days to my last paycheck. In usual fashion, God came through. I take that back—in usual fashion, He more than came through. With just four days remaining I got a call. The call. A position that met every one of my expressed needs that I had prayed for months. As incredible as the transition was, it was, nonetheless, change. Change that took an enormous amount of adjustment… and courage. So when fall turned to winter and I got this feeling that more change was on the horizon, I pleaded. Don’t let it be so. Just give us one calm year. I prayed it, even though I already knew the answer. I prayed it, even through… I didn’t really even want it. Why? Because I’ve realized that I cannot pray for God to do the miraculous in my life without expecting a few waves. And oh, how I want all that God has for me. Two job changes in one year seemed too much to bear, but the answer became clear. This time Craig stepped out, on a different word, but the same faithfulness of a loving Father. The waves came. The boat rocked. And, honestly, it looked as though we would go down. But God. He knew what He was doing. In the words of the psalmist, “He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me.” (Psalm 18:19) What we have experienced since has been nothing short of miraculous. Not only is Craig getting to do what he loves (AV installs), but he’s getting to travel the globe, at times, to do it. (P.S. You can follow him and all his hilarious adventure posts here.) So if you’ve ever wondered what Craig was doing in Canada, or doing on a plane again, just know that it is all thanks to the goodness of God. He has provided opportunity above and beyond what we could have ever imagined. We are braver. We are stronger. And we are more certain than ever about the good things God has in store for our family. So, with all of this great change has come a whole lot of adjusting. And grieving. And learning. So the short answer to "What have you been up to?" is just that. As for the kids. Well, they’re growing like weeds. At times I am completely in awe of the amazing individuals they are becoming (other times I am completely tired and pulling out my hair. Because, mom life.) We had a SUPER FUN seizing the summer-- spent a few weeks at camp, lived at the lake, and ate WAY too much free Racetrac frozen yogurt.  Many of you know our ongoing challenges with our oldest son’s special needs. I feel like I’ve spent the past two years being “Mama bear”, advocating for him. In the spring I was disheartened at a new diagnosis—ADHD. But we've made some adjustments, and my kind-hearted, creative, smart Avery is off to a great start, in 4th grade. (HOW?)  Mr. Emory James, the steady child, is a near clone of his Daddy (in personality, anyway). He's intelligent, witty and sweet, and keeps us rolling in laughter, and always out of tape thanks to his constant “innovations”.  Now for the biggest update… the Princess started Pre-K this month! That means this mama has 6.5 hours of ALONE TIME to work for the first time in a decade. Bethany loves school, and doesn’t understand why there have to be weekends. She is our outdoor-playing, dancing, singing fashionista who seemingly never runs out of energy. Bless me.  And me? Well, mostly I have the incredible privilege of writing for Amplio Recruiting, an awesome business that connects refugees to living-wage jobs at companies in Atlanta, Houston, Dallas and Raleigh. I get to tell the stories of the beautiful, resilient individuals who make up the refugee community. I get to tell the story of the compassionate companies leading the way in hiring them. And I get to work with some of the most incredible, passionate people who are advocating for refugee success. Honestly, y’all, every day I feel more and more humbled that God saw it fit to put me in the middle of one of the largest crises (and hotly debated issues) of our time. If you believe Jesus was serious when He commanded us to love our neighbor—even if they don’t look like us, speak like us, or believe like us—then I’d love for you to give Amplio Recruiting a follow on Facebook and Instagram. New stories go up weekly, and some of them are just unbelievable. I should probably mention (announce) they’ve commissioned me to write a book about the strong case for hiring refugees. A book. I cannot tell you how (nervously) excited I am about this opportunity! So stay tuned—things are about to get interesting. Outside of work projects, I had the honor of speaking at two separate events this year. Yes, I know what you’re thinking—she speaks? Yes, she speaks! As many times as I tried to argue with God that my hands did a lot better at communicating than my mouth, I couldn’t shake the undeniable call. This was my second year of speaking at Princess Camp at Camp Gideon. It’s always a privilege to be back at the place where God met me and changed me, grew me and empowered me. The theme for the year was “Brave”, and in an act of bravery, we pulled back the curtains to reveal hidden areas of shame in our lives, and learned how to resist the lies of the enemy.  A couple of weeks ago I was invited to speak at an event put on by my dear friend Anne B. Say. If you don’t know Anne, you should. She is an encourager and a catapult for the Kingdom, propelling people into their God-given callings. I spoke on “nurturing your God-given dream” to a handful of women who were so engaged and so encouraging.
With Miss. Bethany being at school, now, I have some space to write again (outside of work). And I’ve been thinking a lot about what that will look like. This past year I’ve learned a lot of things. Mostly, I’ve learned that I cannot put my calling in a box. I’m a communicator and a teacher, but that’s not always going to look the same. Sometimes I write to raise awareness about causes. Sometimes I write children's story books. Sometimes I write website content. Sometimes I write to inspire and encourage. God is a creative God, and He desires for us to be creative people. He is teaching me to be brave this year. And part of being brave is stepping out of my comfortable box. In the past, I’ve blogged devotions and meditations on scripture, but it’s, for the most part, been shallow and safe. I’ve lived too long in fear. Fear of failure. Fear of what other people might think of me. Fear of disappointing God. But I’m busting the box, y’all. In the coming months, you will still see devotions, sometimes, yes. But you may also read about our experience with ADHD, or tips on time management, or my biggest parent fails, or… whatever. (Oh, and you can be sure you’ll see reviews on the latest books I’m reading.) Whatever that looks like, my prayer is that the honest and prayerful sharing of my life would be an encouragement to you, at whatever stage you are at. That it would drive you into a deeper trust in God, and knowledge of His Word. That it would bring hope and light to the dark and challenging areas of your life. That it would provoke you to think differently and live brave. And that you would know that you are loved and worthy just as you are. So that’s my update, and that’s what you can expect in the months ahead. While this year has been a year of great change, and great loss, I know that the best is ahead of us… And I’m glad you’re on the journey with me.
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I was gifted a copy of the CSB Study Bible for Women from B&H / Lifeway Publishing in exchange for my honest review. Every day was the same: 1- Open Bible app. 2- Begin that day's plan assignment. 3- Get distracted by notifications. 4- Eventually finish the plan reading. I was "checking the list", but rarely walking away with anything I could hold onto and carry throughout the day. Reading my Bible had become routine, instead of intentional. I've been reading the Bible since, well, I could read. I knew I needed to shake things up, but I didn't know how. So when B&H / Lifeway Publishing offered me the opportunity to review their new CSB Study Bible for Women, I was elated! I immediately jumped on the opportunity and waited for the brown box to arrive on my front porch. And it did not disappoint. Y'all, I'm not a great photographer, but this Bible is everything a girl wants-- practical, inspirational, informational, and beautiful. I wanted to make sure to give it a good run before sharing. I've had it nearly two months, and I can honestly say it has rekindled my passion for the Word. But enough babbling... let's get down to the nitty-gritty! The BookThe CSB Study Bible for Women (There are several beautiful binding options available. Mine is the light turquoise / sand hardcover version.)  The "Skinny"This study Bible is written in the Christian Standard Bible translation, which is a revision of the Holman Christian Standard Bible. Like most study Bibles, it features a summary at the beginning of each book, and study notes throughout to bring context and practical application to the scripture within. This Bible is for...Women who want to grow in their faith through a deeper understanding of God and His Word. Why You Need ItIf you want to better understand the Word without needing 16 commentaries and resources on hand, this Bible provides fantastic notes, word studies, character profiles and more created specifically with women in mind. The CSB translation is perfect for every day reading, while the study notes really bring out the meaning behind the Scripture.  Why You'll Love It1. The translation. I really cannot say enough about this! CSB does a great job of sticking to the original meaning, while remaining super comprehensive, at a 7th grade reading level. 2. Focus. Do you currently read on a mobile device? I did too. But I found myself SO distracted. Notifications and early morning text messages de-railed my quiet time more than I'd like to admit. Going back to a "hard copy" Bible helps me minimize distractions (sans the kids) and really zero in on what God is speaking to me each day. While having the Bible on my phone is still convenient for many situations, I have enjoyed returning to the simplicity of paper. 3. Notes galore. Let's face it: the Bible can be confusing. And if you're like me, maybe you're prone to simply skip over the parts that don't make sense. If that's you, this Bible has everything from timelines to word studies, to maps to cross references to bring context to the verses, and we all know-- context is key! The Bottom LineIf you're in the market for a new Bible, this one is a terrific option! It's both beautiful and practical and may just be what you need to breathe life back into your quiet time.  LinksPurchase the CSB Study Bible for Women at any of the retailers listed here.
It was love at first sight. The moment we stepped into the quaint, 1950’s ranch, we were captivated—It had to be ours. Sure, the unsightly paneling would need painted; the outdated light fixtures, changed. And, okay, the yard sure would need mowing and raking; pulling and pruning. Yes, we realized the floor was off-kilter in places (as well as a few windows and walls)… But it was all. So. Charming. A few agonizingly long weeks later we closed on that house and it became ours. The first few days were magical—strange and new, but magical. After a few days of painting, moving, and very little sleeping, we began to notice a few things… like the water heater, for instance. The water heater squealed. A constant, high-pitched hum that only stopped when water was running somewhere. Hmm. That’s annoying. Then there’s the floors. You don’t think having completely level floors matters much, until you take into consideration putting furniture on said floors. Just because my boys bunk beds sport blue and white striped bedding doesn’t mean I want them looking like a toppling sailboat. Oh, and the yard. Don’t even get me started. What I thought would be “a couple days’ work” has become endless, ongoing cycle of leaf and weed removal. Humpf. This new house has taught me a lot of lessons already, on everything from friendships to the importance of embracing the process, but lately it’s reminded me a lot of my marriage. I don’t know about you, but at times my relationship to my husband can seem eerily familiar to my house experience. Although it was not “love at first sight” (we grew up in church together, from an early age), we began hanging out as friends in high school. I began captivated by his humor, maturity and sweet spirit. He had to be mine. Sure, there were “little things” he did that I noticed, but at the time, they too, were charming.  Now, 11 years and 3 kids later, there are many times when my husband’s idiosyncrasies are far less than “charming”…
I like to finish projects; he’s perfectly fine with stopping in the middle to do something different. I’m an introvert; he’s a people person to the max. I’m not big on news and media; he feels the need to be in the know at all times. What used to be charming can now seem more, well… annoying to be honest. So what happened in those eleven years between charming and annoying? The same thing that happened with our house; a sneaky little thing called “familiarity.” Familiarity causes us to take for granted those things for which we used to be grateful for. When our house was fresh and new (to us), I appreciated the blessing that it was to our family. Likewise, when our relationship was fresh and new, I cherished every dinner date, every sweet gesture, and every amusing quirk of my husband. But over time, they just became the norm. Unknowingly, I became entitled, and it sucked the joy and gratitude right out of the relationship. Entitlement. It’s easy to see it in everyone else but our self, right? Here’s some tell-tale signs I’m struggling with entitlement: I stress more than I connect. I complain more than I compliment. I sulk more than I celebrate. Proverbs 5:18 advises husbands, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth.” But I think that’s a message that can apply to us all. “Rejoice in the [husband] of your youth.” So how do we move from frustration to appreciation? How do we fight back against familiarity to keep things fresh in our marriages? Well, when those little quirks about my house begin to get under my skin, I remind myself of all the wonderful things it has to offer-- A cozy place to rest and recharge. An inviting space to host friends and family. A safe and quiet neighborhood. A spacious, shaded yard. Likewise, with my marriage, I can turn my focus from irritation to recognition. I can recognize that my husband… Works hard to be a faithful provider for our family. Keeps us laughing and light-hearted with his laid-back sense of humor. Is an innovative thinker and problem-solver. And so, SO much more. It’s common for familiarity to creep into our marriages. But it’s not impossible to rekindle fresh love and appreciation for your spouse. Here are a couple practical ways to do that:
It’s never too late to do the right thing. Begin today. Don’t allow familiarity to strip the love, joy, passion and gratitude right out of your marriage. Pray and ask God, “What is the one thing I can do today to rekindle love and gratitude in my marriage?” Allow Holy Spirit to show you, then do it. It’s that simple. What’s the one step you need to take today? I received a complimentary copy of “If You Only Knew” from B&H Publishing in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are mine.  The Book The “Skinny” In “If You Only Knew”, Jamie Ivey shares the candid, grace-wrapped story of her life. If you’ve ever felt like you’re too far gone for God to make something good out of your life, this story will restore hope in His ability to make all things new and to be free from the lies and shame that have held you bound. This book is for…Women who desire to walk in the fullness of freedom in Christ Why You Need It Like Jamie, I spent a lot of years feeling like God tolerated me. I had occasional glimpses of His extravagant grace, but never thought it was for me. So I strived to earn His love and pay for the sins I thought He held against me. I was a Christian, but I didn't feel the freedom that I saw in others. What I’ve learned, and what Jamie so gracefully expresses in “If You Only Knew” is that God’s love, forgiveness and acceptance exceeds everything that we could even imagine. If you’re feeling chained by lies and shame and unable to believe the truth that God is for you, this book is a light that will illuminate the path to freedom. Why you’ll love it…
The Bottom Line This highly anticipated release did not disappoint! I love Jamie’s message and her vision to see women walking in the freedom Christ offers. I hope this first book isn’t her last! LinksWith Love, Katie G. I scribbled the phrase in black ink for the seventh time, sighed and clasped my hand, stretching it backward. Smiling, I tidied the crisp envelopes into a pile and set them by my purse so they would not be forgotten (like the daily signing of my kids’ agendas). I don’t know when it happened, but at some point stacks of pretty cards on my desk and frequent trips to the post office became the norm. Somewhere in the journey I realized my words held a lot of power. At some point in the throes of motherhood I realized that if I needed someone to cheer me on, then surely others did too. I must admit the words did not come easily, at first. I questioned whether they would be of any value to the person on the receiving end... Until I started getting responses like, “That verse was just what I needed to hear,” or, “Your card came at just the right time.” Confirmation that these words were hitting on real needs. In that hidden season of motherhood, I realized I could still make a difference, right where I was. The Holy Spirit could and would use me—little, imperfect me--to lift up the people He had placed in my life. To shovel the love of God on them, and push them to be who God created them to be. But He doesn’t just want to use me--He wants to use you, too.  Paul exhorts the church in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 saying, “So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left behind…” (The Message) The coolest part about God is He could do everything without us, but he chooses us to play a part in His story. There are people in our lives that need hope. And while at times I run short on other resources, the hope of Christ is a well we can draw from that never runs dry. Whether written or spoken, encouragement is a gift that everyone can give. All it costs is our attention. We must be willing to slow down and be with the people He has placed around us; take note of their giftings; hear their stories; sense their pain, their discouragement; and let the Holy Spirit speak to us and through us. But that can’t happen when we’re rushing from one event to the next. Who, in your life, needs the gift of encouragement today? A struggling mom? A grieving co-worker? A discouraged husband? Who will you slow down for long enough to hear their heart and allow the Holy Spirit to speak words of life through you? Somebody needs a word to make them brave enough to push through fear. Somebody needs a hand to pull them from their pit of despair. Somebody needs to know that they are not alone, to hear the words, “I’m praying for you. I’m with you.” Somebody needs to know that someone else believes in them. Be that somebody. Type a text. Write a card. Open your mouth. Send an e-mail. Meet for coffee. You are a vessel to get God’s love, hope, and encouragement into the world.
This is an unsponsored review post about "31 Day Create: Discover and Strengthen Your Creativity", by Jenny Randle. All opinions are mine.
If you follow me on social media, you know there are few things I love more than a new book. And when one of those is highly impactful, I consider it somewhat of a "responsibility" to share about it.
But beyond just sharing a pretty graphic from time to time, I thought it’d be fun to post an occasional blog review of my favorites. And I can't think of a better book to kick it off with than my friend Jenny Randle's latest book-- an interactive devotional to help you rekindle your creativity. If you're like me and 77% of adults, you probably feel like your creativity has dwindled with age. And you'd be right. But where did we go wrong? And is there any hope to restore the creative genius that once was? Jenny says, "Yes." Listen, friends: As a person who's been "burned" by many sub-par devotionals, I'm not exaggerating when I say this one exceeded my expectations. So get your Amazon Wish List ready and read more to learn why this book needs to be on your shelf. The Book
"31 Day Create: Discover and Strengthen Your Creativity" by Jenny Randle
The "Skinny"
A 31 day interactive devotional book aimed to help you discover and strengthen your creativity. Each day features a short message and a creative challenge that will take you about 7-10 minutes to complete.
This book is for...
Hobby or career creatives such as...
(Psst...With May around the corner, this would make a great gift for a high school graduate!) Why You Need It
Studies show that 77% of adults feel like they’ve lost their creativity. Are you one of them? I was.
As sons and daughter of the Creator, we were created to create, but many of us find ourselves feeling stifled. Jenny Randle approaches this real-life dilemma from a sound Biblical perspective, offering practical advice and encouragement to help you revive and nurture your God-given creativity in just 15-20 minutes a day for 31 days. Why You'll Love It1. It's spit-your-coffee-out funny. Like really funny.
From her story about “Fancy Dude”, to her reference of “sinking like Katy Perry’s left shark in the super bowl”, Jenny is HIL-AR-I-OUS. Be warned that you may bust out laughing uncontrollably at any given page turn.
My favorite has to be her failed attempt at a once-in-a-lifetime shot to break into “the voiceover career I didn’t even know I wanted” but instead… “sounded more like a squeaky Bart Simpson who just finished drinking four cups of coffee, then got mauled by bears.” (pg. 152) 2. It's a calorie-free treat.
I’m the kind of gal that’s motivated by rewards (read: chocolate and naps). This book didn’t feel like work, it felt like a treat. The “challenges” were fun and served as sort of a “brain break” in the middle of my otherwise routine day.
3. It's packed with truth.
I love encouragement. I love it more when there’s substance to it—meaning it’s rooted in the truth of God's Word.
Imagine my delight to discover that "31 Day Create" is packed with Scripture! From the Biblical foundations of creativity, to overcoming fear and setting healthy boundaries, to walking out your calling, Jenny gives creatives a sound guidebook for the journey. My "Aha" Moment
“You are a proven miracle and a masterpiece… so own it! Not in an arrogant way, but in a way that glorifies God.
You have unique gifts, and the world needs your perspective, passion, and your talent. Embracing your uniqueness, whether it’s your smarts, quirkiness or aspirations, can help you understand your role as a child of God.” –Day 21, page 135 The Bottom Line
This book gets 5 out of 5 sticky gold stars from me. As a gal who’s trudged my way through many devotionals over the years, this one was sheer delight from beginning to end. Jenny Randle is playing an integral role in pointing creatives to the freedom God intended for them to walk in.
Make an investment in your creativity-- you can grab this book on Amazon for $17.97 LinksFollow Jenny on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
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But here's the good news:
Even when we run, God chases us down.
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"Coincidentally" I ran into that friend in a parking lot. We chatted and began to part ways when she said, “Hey—we should grab coffee sometime soon.”
“Yeah!” I sputtered, “I would love that.” She promised she would text as I turned to climb into my car, shaking my head in disbelief.
The next week we met at a quaint breakfast nook. I don’t know at what point I popped the question…
Okay, in reality it was just me awkwardly admitting the truth about how I had ran from what I felt God was leading me to do.
She laughed then, and she still laughs now, as I ramble on.
When I retell my unspeakably raw moments with my kids;
Or my “arguments” with God;
Or my honest assessments of myself.
We don’t always laugh. Sometimes we cry.
When we share about God’s goodness in a situation;
Or expose a broken part of who we are;
Or admit mistakes and the desire to become more than the sum of them.
But the laughing and crying doesn’t even begin to cover the half of what this relationship has meant to me.
It helped me gain the traction I needed to break out of the same old cycles.
I ask hard questions and listen, then apply that wisdom to my life.
More importantly, I allow her to ask hard questions.
“Yeah!” I sputtered, “I would love that.” She promised she would text as I turned to climb into my car, shaking my head in disbelief.
The next week we met at a quaint breakfast nook. I don’t know at what point I popped the question…
Okay, in reality it was just me awkwardly admitting the truth about how I had ran from what I felt God was leading me to do.
She laughed then, and she still laughs now, as I ramble on.
When I retell my unspeakably raw moments with my kids;
Or my “arguments” with God;
Or my honest assessments of myself.
We don’t always laugh. Sometimes we cry.
When we share about God’s goodness in a situation;
Or expose a broken part of who we are;
Or admit mistakes and the desire to become more than the sum of them.
But the laughing and crying doesn’t even begin to cover the half of what this relationship has meant to me.
It helped me gain the traction I needed to break out of the same old cycles.
I ask hard questions and listen, then apply that wisdom to my life.
More importantly, I allow her to ask hard questions.
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I ask hard questions and listen,
then apply that wisdom to my life.
More importantly, I allow her to ask hard questions.
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Can I be honest? I haven’t always liked that at times.
Like the time it forced me to realize that it was time to leave my comfortable job to pursue my dream career.
Or the time I had to shed my apathy about my son’s school problems and go all “Mama Bear” to get him the help he needed and deserved.
Or the times I had my own opinions about the way things should be done in the ministry area I was leading in.
I could continue, but the bottom line is this: having the accountability and exhortation of a mentor finally gave me the traction I needed to move forward in 2017.
I fought the giants of fear, apathy, and self-doubt.
I grew as a parent, a leader, a wife, and a friend.
I made a bold move into a career that I absolutely love.
Our finances began moving in the right direction for the first time in years.
And I even published my very first book.
Can I tell you something else cool? God didn’t just bless me with one amazing mentor, He gave me two. After a couple casual cups of coffee with a new friend, we began meeting more intentionally. She, a more experienced author and a Jesus lover, challenges me to live out my calling bravely.
Isn’t that just like God? He always provides over and beyond. Each incredible of these incredible women bring a different set of experiences to the table.
Friend, I don’t know where you are in your life, what your dreams are, or where you want to grow. But this I know-- there is someone out there you can learn from.
The Bible demonstrates mentorship through the stories of Elijah and Elisha, Paul and Timothy, Jesus and the disciples. The wisest man in the Bible, Solomon, exhorts us to acquire wise counsel. Paul urges men and women to share their love for God and life experience with those coming behind them.
Don’t neglect this very important part of growth.
Seek God. Pray. Get in the Word Follow the Holy Spirit’s promptings. Read great books.
But don’t neglect this integral piece to the puzzle.
As I wrap up, here are some questions to help you pinpoint who might make a great mentor in your life:
Jot down some names. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your steps. He will. He always does.
And if it doesn’t work out the first time, that’s okay! Sometimes good things take time.
Like the time it forced me to realize that it was time to leave my comfortable job to pursue my dream career.
Or the time I had to shed my apathy about my son’s school problems and go all “Mama Bear” to get him the help he needed and deserved.
Or the times I had my own opinions about the way things should be done in the ministry area I was leading in.
I could continue, but the bottom line is this: having the accountability and exhortation of a mentor finally gave me the traction I needed to move forward in 2017.
I fought the giants of fear, apathy, and self-doubt.
I grew as a parent, a leader, a wife, and a friend.
I made a bold move into a career that I absolutely love.
Our finances began moving in the right direction for the first time in years.
And I even published my very first book.
Can I tell you something else cool? God didn’t just bless me with one amazing mentor, He gave me two. After a couple casual cups of coffee with a new friend, we began meeting more intentionally. She, a more experienced author and a Jesus lover, challenges me to live out my calling bravely.
Isn’t that just like God? He always provides over and beyond. Each incredible of these incredible women bring a different set of experiences to the table.
Friend, I don’t know where you are in your life, what your dreams are, or where you want to grow. But this I know-- there is someone out there you can learn from.
The Bible demonstrates mentorship through the stories of Elijah and Elisha, Paul and Timothy, Jesus and the disciples. The wisest man in the Bible, Solomon, exhorts us to acquire wise counsel. Paul urges men and women to share their love for God and life experience with those coming behind them.
Don’t neglect this very important part of growth.
Seek God. Pray. Get in the Word Follow the Holy Spirit’s promptings. Read great books.
But don’t neglect this integral piece to the puzzle.
As I wrap up, here are some questions to help you pinpoint who might make a great mentor in your life:
- Who is further along in the journey?
- Whose life do you admire?
- Who is where you want to be in ten years?
- Who is having success in an area you need to grow in?
Jot down some names. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your steps. He will. He always does.
And if it doesn’t work out the first time, that’s okay! Sometimes good things take time.
To Heather and Anne,
Your example is so needed in this world.
Your words have meant more to me than you’ll ever know.
Thank you for believing in me.
I don’t have to tell you that parenting is hard—you already know that.
Hundreds of thousands of books have been written on the subject, and I’ve read probably dozens of these. I don’t know about you, but all that information can be more overwhelming than helpful.
I don’t claim to be an expert; but as a parent to a 9-year-old, 7-year-old, and 4-year-old, I’ve figured out a few basics…
Food. Clothing. Roof over head.
Totally just kidding. Of course, they need those. But I’m talking about non-tangibles today—essentials to every child’s well-being.
I’m a lover of simplicity, so over time I’ve boiled my strategy down to these five things every child needs to flourish.
Hundreds of thousands of books have been written on the subject, and I’ve read probably dozens of these. I don’t know about you, but all that information can be more overwhelming than helpful.
I don’t claim to be an expert; but as a parent to a 9-year-old, 7-year-old, and 4-year-old, I’ve figured out a few basics…
Food. Clothing. Roof over head.
Totally just kidding. Of course, they need those. But I’m talking about non-tangibles today—essentials to every child’s well-being.
I’m a lover of simplicity, so over time I’ve boiled my strategy down to these five things every child needs to flourish.
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1. Belonging
Children need to know that they belong in their family. This seems obvious, but hear me on this. If they feel unaccepted or disapproved of, they will search for belonging somewhere else. God created us to belong—first, to Him. But also in community. Studies have proven that belonging is essential to happiness (not loads of toys).
So how do we make sure our kids know that they belong?
You’re probably already doing it.
Be their biggest fan.
Embrace every part of them, quirks and all.
Celebrate who they were created to be.
Tell them how your family wouldn’t be the same without the unique personality and strengths they bring to the table.
Be a person with whom they can share any thought or feeling without fearing judgement.
When we are a safe place for our child, they won’t be tempted to lower their standards or pretend to be someone other than who they were created to be just to fit in… because they already will.
So how do we make sure our kids know that they belong?
You’re probably already doing it.
Be their biggest fan.
Embrace every part of them, quirks and all.
Celebrate who they were created to be.
Tell them how your family wouldn’t be the same without the unique personality and strengths they bring to the table.
Be a person with whom they can share any thought or feeling without fearing judgement.
When we are a safe place for our child, they won’t be tempted to lower their standards or pretend to be someone other than who they were created to be just to fit in… because they already will.
2. Apologies. Lots of them.
Brace yourself; this one hurts. The last thing I want to do after I—ahem--justifiably lose my temper is to apologize. The same goes for when I make a false assumption or fall short of a promise or… the list goes on.
You and I, we mess up all the time. And our children are watching to see how we handle those mistakes. They need to see us live out the Jesus way of handling them: humility.
When I apologize to my daughter for yelling at her, I’m communicating more than just “I’m sorry”. She sees that mommy messes up sometimes, but that it’s not okay to belittle others.
When I apologize to my son for jumping to wrong conclusions, I’m telling him that our relationship matters more to me than being right. By lowering myself, I’m raising the standard in our household by showing my children what’s okay and what’s not.
The times when I’ve apologized—even when I didn’t feel like it, have been some of the most impactful parenting moments of all. When we give ourselves permission to be human, we give our children permission to be human, too, while leading them in God’s better way of living.
You and I, we mess up all the time. And our children are watching to see how we handle those mistakes. They need to see us live out the Jesus way of handling them: humility.
When I apologize to my daughter for yelling at her, I’m communicating more than just “I’m sorry”. She sees that mommy messes up sometimes, but that it’s not okay to belittle others.
When I apologize to my son for jumping to wrong conclusions, I’m telling him that our relationship matters more to me than being right. By lowering myself, I’m raising the standard in our household by showing my children what’s okay and what’s not.
The times when I’ve apologized—even when I didn’t feel like it, have been some of the most impactful parenting moments of all. When we give ourselves permission to be human, we give our children permission to be human, too, while leading them in God’s better way of living.
3. Boredom
Read my lips; your children need to be bored. Bored, bored, bored.
Not 24/7 of course. But as much as they will try to convince you otherwise, this is not a bad thing and you do not need to feel guilty about it.
What are your best childhood memories? Probably not when your mom and dad dragged you around to every festival, sports game, and theme park known to man.
My parents failed in the entertaining department, and I became better for it. My brothers and I spent hours creating games, stories, and toys in the basement. We built forts in the woods in the backyard. I collected paper, cloth, pipe cleaners, and other “goods” and would sit creating for hours on end.
So maybe my parents didn’t fail after all.
What I’m trying to say is this: Boredom breeds creativity.
It’s okay, mom and dad. Let them be bored.
Not 24/7 of course. But as much as they will try to convince you otherwise, this is not a bad thing and you do not need to feel guilty about it.
What are your best childhood memories? Probably not when your mom and dad dragged you around to every festival, sports game, and theme park known to man.
My parents failed in the entertaining department, and I became better for it. My brothers and I spent hours creating games, stories, and toys in the basement. We built forts in the woods in the backyard. I collected paper, cloth, pipe cleaners, and other “goods” and would sit creating for hours on end.
So maybe my parents didn’t fail after all.
What I’m trying to say is this: Boredom breeds creativity.
It’s okay, mom and dad. Let them be bored.
4. Consequences
This one’s harder than apologizing, because it allows the pain to fall on my kids, instead of me. And oh how badly I want to come between the two.
Just last week one of my children, who shall remain anonymous, got into a little situation at school involving his mouth. Oh, how the Apostle James was right when he said, “but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” #preach
Anyway, part of me wanted to sweep the situation under the rug, writing it off as a “just a kid” incident. But inside I knew my child was old enough to understand the power of his words and their impact on others. We talked. He cried. For two hours, to be exact. He felt the full weight of his consequences that week, but he came out better for it.
Situations aren’t always that serious, though, and sometimes it’s easier to write off our kids’ sin and disobedience or pay the price ourselves.
Johnny didn’t clean his room, but you let him have dessert anyway.
Brittney broke her phone, so you just buy her another.
Billy failed an Algebra test, so you e-mail his teacher and ask for a do over.
Are you coming between your children and the consequences needed to grow them into healthy and productive human beings?
I’m not discounting grace. Have grace. But, also have consequences. Pain can be a powerful teacher.
Just last week one of my children, who shall remain anonymous, got into a little situation at school involving his mouth. Oh, how the Apostle James was right when he said, “but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” #preach
Anyway, part of me wanted to sweep the situation under the rug, writing it off as a “just a kid” incident. But inside I knew my child was old enough to understand the power of his words and their impact on others. We talked. He cried. For two hours, to be exact. He felt the full weight of his consequences that week, but he came out better for it.
Situations aren’t always that serious, though, and sometimes it’s easier to write off our kids’ sin and disobedience or pay the price ourselves.
Johnny didn’t clean his room, but you let him have dessert anyway.
Brittney broke her phone, so you just buy her another.
Billy failed an Algebra test, so you e-mail his teacher and ask for a do over.
Are you coming between your children and the consequences needed to grow them into healthy and productive human beings?
I’m not discounting grace. Have grace. But, also have consequences. Pain can be a powerful teacher.
5. A Healthy You
Healthy children come from healthy families, and healthy families are made up of healthy individuals. You simply cannot sacrifice your well-being “for the sake of the kids”. It doesn’t work that way.
Are you stressed and overrun?
Are you financially strapped?
Do you feel far from God?
Are you severely overweight or suffering from a medical condition?
Is your marriage falling apart?
It’s time to put first things first. Stop running your children to every activity under the sun. Make time to have coffee with a trusted friend, see a counselor, or take a class that will get you to a healthier place.
Your children may not understand now, but they will thank you for it down the road when they have a physically, mentally, and spiritually healthy parent or guardian.
Are you stressed and overrun?
Are you financially strapped?
Do you feel far from God?
Are you severely overweight or suffering from a medical condition?
Is your marriage falling apart?
It’s time to put first things first. Stop running your children to every activity under the sun. Make time to have coffee with a trusted friend, see a counselor, or take a class that will get you to a healthier place.
Your children may not understand now, but they will thank you for it down the road when they have a physically, mentally, and spiritually healthy parent or guardian.
| |
Being a parent doesn’t have to be complicated. For more simple guidance, I like to read the Proverbs. Conveniently, there are 31 chapters which makes for an easy habit of reading one per day. Who knows, after a year of reading through 12 times, they might start to sink in. Maybe.
Lastly, I know many of you are reading this from a place of discouragement. You feel like you’re not a good enough parent.
Know this, mom or dad: If you have the desire to get better, you’re already a good parent.
Give yourself some grace. This is a hard job.
Pray and ask God how you can fill one of your child’s five needs today.
Lastly, I know many of you are reading this from a place of discouragement. You feel like you’re not a good enough parent.
Know this, mom or dad: If you have the desire to get better, you’re already a good parent.
Give yourself some grace. This is a hard job.
Pray and ask God how you can fill one of your child’s five needs today.
News flash: We’re 16 days deep into the New Year.
But perhaps you already knew that.
Maybe, like me, you’ve been checking off the days and staring down the 349 left to go.
I don’t know what resolutions you made or goals you set, but I do know that this is about the time that discouragement starts to creep its way into our sparkly dreams.
The fun of new beginnings becomes replaced by frustration, exhaustion, or even apathy, and taint our hope that, perhaps, change is possible.
So what do we do when our Bible plan is at 5%, the scale has stopped moving, and our children are still crazy?
We all have that friend who lost 40 pounds and changed their life, and the other who finally started their own business last year. What’s the difference? What’s the magical formula to making and keeping these promises to ourselves?
I found myself asking this question yesterday as I huffed and puffed my way through a HIIT and strength routine.
Two years ago I was sick and tired of the way I looked and felt. I had made every excuse for why I couldn’t workout. So almost two years ago, to the date, I stopped.
I stopped making excuses, and I showed up.
I showed up when I felt like it, and when I didn’t.
I showed up when I felt strong, and when I was so sore I didn’t think I could lift the remote.
I showed up when I could see and feel progress, and when I couldn’t.
And do you know what? The results came. After a year, I had lost over 15 pounds and felt better than I’ve ever felt in my entire life.
I didn’t do anything that would seem spectacular or even praise-worthy. I didn’t pin 46 tricks to lose weight. I didn’t spend $200 on a webinar that would tell me the secret to success.
I simply showed up.
Now, I’m not saying these things are bad. Certainly there are a lot of fantastic tools and some helpful information out there--but none of it will work if you don’t.
You want to know the sad news?
I re-gained nearly all of those 15 pounds last year.
Shocking, I know.
You want to know what I did?
I stopped showing up.
Mentally and physically.
I allowed the excuses back in, and found fifteen friends who agreed with them…
And I simply stopped.
So here I am, back at square one this New Year.
But I’m not dismayed, because the good news is it’s not over.
I’ve started showing up again.
And I’m applying what I’ve learned to other areas, too.
What are your resolutions or goals this year?
I want to re-lose the weight, write more, and work on my relationships.
No matter your “race”, you get to the finish line one step at a time.
So show up.
Stay in your lane.
And keep taking steps.
Some days will be sprints. Others will feel like a crawl. But you’ll be moving forward.
I love the encouragement Paul gives in Galatians 6, verse 9 when he says, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
Those resolutions, those dreams, those plans—they are God-given.
Do you know He wants you to succeed?
The best news is He can take our steps of faith and multiply them beyond what we ever thought imaginable.
But we have to show up.
Show up at your small group. Show up at the dinner table. Show up at the gym. Show up to the phone call. Show up to that book you started. Show up to the paperwork.
Don’t give up.
Show up.
If you had asked me if I’d ever write a children’s book one day, the answer probably would have been a confident “No”. But God sure does have a sense of humor, doesn’t He?
In early October I arrived home from an out-of-town creative conference I was blessed with the opportunity to attend. With my husband on a work trip of his own, I headed to my in-laws’, to pick up my three children.
The moment I swung open their screen door and saw my oldest little’s face, I knew something was wrong. Avery was nearly green. I sighed and asked what he had eaten that day, and he rattled off a list of greasy, sugary foods. “My stomach hurts,” he moaned.
“Let’s go home and get to bed,” I said, hoping a Tums and a good night’s sleep would do the trick. But the next morning when he got up, so did the pizza, the pastries, and the candies he’d devoured the day before. Gross.
As I finished preparing school lunches for the non-pukers, I overheard my middle child questioning his brother loudly. “Why do you always throw up after we go to Nana’s? I eat junk food there, too, and I don’t throw up,” he added with a tinge of belittlement.
By then I’d reached the bedroom door and found myself blurting out, “Because Avery is more sensitive than you. His stomach is more sensitive than yours. His eyes are more sensitive than yours; his ears, his taste, his feelings… they’re all more sensitive.” I carried on with my explanation in a sort of out-of-body parenting experience, where I wondered where the words were coming from.
When my son was five, he was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder (you can read more about that experience here). Since then it’s been a journey of learning to understand and appreciate his differences, and help others do the same.
I haven’t always got it right.
The road has been marked with melt-downs and hugs, screaming fights and apologies, tears and talks, victory and disappointment and yes—even sometimes puke.
During a phone call with my grandmother last year, I was bemoaning my frustrations with Avery and some school stuff going on. My sweet, wise grandmother is also a bit of a fireball. She stopped me dead in my complaints and informed me she was going to pray. Like right then.
I’ll never forget the words she told me that day, “Katie, I believe what the Holy Spirit is telling me is that what others see as Avery’s weakness, is actually his strength.”
Holy Spirit turned the table that day. Instead of focusing on his “problems”, I began to pray that God would show me his unique gifts and help me to encourage him to use his difference to make a difference.
And do you know what?
My son, who gets his feelings hurt easily, is the first to introduce himself to a new friend and invite them to play.
My son, who has been called a “busybody” because he hears everything, senses when I am having a stressful day and simply need a hug.
My son, who is the first to point out detail, creates the most endearing artwork for the fridge.
All because of his sensitivity.
On that rainy morning in October, in the doorway of my boys’ room, “Different by Design” was birthed. The story of a puppy, Tommy, and his family that is inspired by our own personal journey.
Our prayer is that it will inspire other children—especially those who are different by design—to know that they were created with a purpose that is just as unique as they are.
For those of you who have been following this journey, it is my pleasure to announced that “Different by Design” is finally available for pre-sale! All of the playful, detailed illustrations were drawn by Avery. The finished product is a premium paperback with glossy pages that will hold up to years of wear and tear.
You can grab a copy for the special child in your life by clicking “Different by Design” on the menu above. All pre-orders made before February 1st will be shipped / available for pick-up by mid-February.
Thank you for your support--you are different by design!
A special thank you to Heather, Anne, Jess and Tanya who have
helped shaped not only this book, but me as a writer.
helped shaped not only this book, but me as a writer.
A little about me...
Hi, I'm Katie!
Wife to Craig, mom of three, author, writer, Jesus-follower, Bible teacher, and coffee enthusiast.
Follow me as I follow Christ and share my heart throughout the journey.
Wife to Craig, mom of three, author, writer, Jesus-follower, Bible teacher, and coffee enthusiast.
Follow me as I follow Christ and share my heart throughout the journey.
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