Children need to know that they belong in their family. This seems obvious, but hear me on this. If they feel unaccepted or disapproved of, they will search for belonging somewhere else. God created us to belong—first, to Him. But also in community. Studies have proven that belonging is essential to happiness (not loads of toys).
 
So how do we make sure our kids know that they belong?
You’re probably already doing it.
 
Be their biggest fan.
Embrace every part of them, quirks and all.
Celebrate who they were created to be.
Tell them how your family wouldn’t be the same without the unique personality and strengths they bring to the table.
Be a person with whom they can share any thought or feeling without fearing judgement.
 
When we are a safe place for our child, they won’t be tempted to lower their standards or pretend to be someone other than who they were created to be just to fit in… because they already will.

News flash: We’re 16 days deep into the New Year.
 
But perhaps you already knew that.

Maybe, like me, you’ve been checking off the days and staring down the 349 left to go.
 
I don’t know what resolutions you made or goals you set, but I do know that this is about the time that discouragement starts to creep its way into our sparkly dreams.

The fun of new beginnings becomes replaced by frustration, exhaustion, or even apathy, and taint our hope that, perhaps, change is possible.
 
So what do we do when our Bible plan is at 5%, the scale has stopped moving, and our children are still crazy?
 
We all have that friend who lost 40 pounds and changed their life, and the other who finally started their own business last year. What’s the difference? What’s the magical formula to making and keeping these promises to ourselves?
 
I found myself asking this question yesterday as I huffed and puffed my way through a HIIT and strength routine.
 
Two years ago I was sick and tired of the way I looked and felt. I had made every excuse for why I couldn’t workout. So almost two years ago, to the date, I stopped.
 
I stopped making excuses, and I showed up.
 
I showed up when I felt like it, and when I didn’t.
I showed up when I felt strong, and when I was so sore I didn’t think I could lift the remote.
I showed up when I could see and feel progress, and when I couldn’t.
 
And do you know what? The results came. After a year, I had lost over 15 pounds and felt better than I’ve ever felt in my entire life.
 
I didn’t do anything that would seem spectacular or even praise-worthy. I didn’t pin 46 tricks to lose weight. I didn’t spend $200 on a webinar that would tell me the secret to success.
 
I simply showed up.
 
Now, I’m not saying these things are bad. Certainly there are a lot of fantastic tools and some helpful information out there--but none of it will work if you don’t.
 
You want to know the sad news?
I re-gained nearly all of those 15 pounds last year.
Shocking, I know.
 
You want to know what I did?
I stopped showing up.
Mentally and physically.
 
I allowed the excuses back in, and found fifteen friends who agreed with them…
And I simply stopped.
 
So here I am, back at square one this New Year.
But I’m not dismayed, because the good news is it’s not over.
 
I’ve started showing up again.
And I’m applying what I’ve learned to other areas, too.
 
What are your resolutions or goals this year?
I want to re-lose the weight, write more, and work on my relationships.
 
No matter your “race”, you get to the finish line one step at a time.
 
So show up.
Stay in your lane.
And keep taking steps.
 
Some days will be sprints. Others will feel like a crawl. But you’ll be moving forward.
 
I love the encouragement Paul gives in Galatians 6, verse 9 when he says, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
 
Those resolutions, those dreams, those plans—they are God-given.
Do you know He wants you to succeed?
 
The best news is He can take our steps of faith and multiply them beyond what we ever thought imaginable.
 
But we have to show up.
 
Show up at your small group. Show up at the dinner table. Show up at the gym. Show up to the phone call. Show up to that book you started. Show up to the paperwork.
 
Don’t give up.
Show up.

If you had asked me if I’d ever write a children’s book one day, the answer probably would have been a confident “No”. But God sure does have a sense of humor, doesn’t He?
 
In early October I arrived home from an out-of-town creative conference I was blessed with the opportunity to attend. With my husband on a work trip of his own, I headed to my in-laws’, to pick up my three children.
 
The moment I swung open their screen door and saw my oldest little’s face, I knew something was wrong. Avery was nearly green. I sighed and asked what he had eaten that day, and he rattled off a list of greasy, sugary foods. “My stomach hurts,” he moaned.
 
“Let’s go home and get to bed,” I said, hoping a Tums and a good night’s sleep would do the trick. But the next morning when he got up, so did the pizza, the pastries, and the candies he’d devoured the day before. Gross.
 
As I finished preparing school lunches for the non-pukers, I overheard my middle child questioning his brother loudly. “Why do you always throw up after we go to Nana’s? I eat junk food there, too, and I don’t throw up,” he added with a tinge of belittlement.
 
By then I’d reached the bedroom door and found myself blurting out, “Because Avery is more sensitive than you. His stomach is more sensitive than yours. His eyes are more sensitive than yours; his ears, his taste, his feelings… they’re all more sensitive.” I carried on with my explanation in a sort of out-of-body parenting experience, where I wondered where the words were coming from.
 
When my son was five, he was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder (you can read more about that experience here). Since then it’s been a journey of learning to understand and appreciate his differences, and help others do the same.
 
I haven’t always got it right.
The road has been marked with melt-downs and hugs, screaming fights and apologies, tears and talks, victory and disappointment and yes—even sometimes puke.
 
During a phone call with my grandmother last year, I was bemoaning my frustrations with Avery and some school stuff going on. My sweet, wise grandmother is also a bit of a fireball. She stopped me dead in my complaints and informed me she was going to pray. Like right then.
 
I’ll never forget the words she told me that day, “Katie, I believe what the Holy Spirit is telling me is that what others see as Avery’s weakness, is actually his strength.”
 
Holy Spirit turned the table that day.  Instead of focusing on his “problems”, I began to pray that God would show me his unique gifts and help me to encourage him to use his difference to make a difference.
 
And do you know what?
 
My son, who gets his feelings hurt easily, is the first to introduce himself to a new friend and invite them to play.
 
My son, who has been called a “busybody” because he hears everything, senses when I am having a stressful day and simply need a hug.
 
My son, who is the first to point out detail, creates the most endearing artwork for the fridge.
 
All because of his sensitivity.
 
On that rainy morning in October, in the doorway of my boys’ room, “Different by Design” was birthed. The story of a puppy, Tommy, and his family that is inspired by our own personal journey.
 
Our prayer is that it will inspire other children—especially those who are different by design—to know that they were created with a purpose that is just as unique as they are.
 
For those of you who have been following this journey, it is my pleasure to announced that “Different by Design” is finally available for pre-sale! All of the playful, detailed illustrations were drawn by Avery. The finished product is a premium paperback with glossy pages that will hold up to years of wear and tear.
 
You can grab a copy for the special child in your life by clicking “Different by Design” on the menu above. All pre-orders made before February 1st will be shipped / available for pick-up by mid-February.
 
Thank you for your support--you are different by design!